Need a comedians name!?

This will bother me. I believe from Boston or somewhere around there. Shaved head, thick accent. I want to say his stand up something like I'm not a Psycho or something. A couple of lines were things like "when you're driving in your car do you ever just want to turn the wheel and run over people on the sidewalk? If I keep driving, I'm a nobody. But if i turn the wheel just 2 degrees to the right, I'm instantly famous. I'm on the cover of newsweek!" Another was him talking about going to an arts and crafts festival with his girlfriend "and it'll take all Saturday and it'l suck. Its mountain people selling maccaroni jewelry. If it was nice it would be a store" Help with this is greatly appreciated.